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Rudolph Quits!
And as the old Carol goes, Nicholas asked Rudolph to guide his sled, and this is what Rudolph said,
“No. I’m going out with my mates. I’m fed up of being laughed at and called a freak through the year. I’m only useful to you lot on Christmas eve, then you love my bright red nose. Not such a joke then am I?
Well, I’m sick of it, I quit! I’m off down the pub with my mates. We just got paid (not that I get paid enough for the hassle I get). No one else gets this treatment, not even the smallest elves.
It’s workplace harassment, that’s what this is, and I’ve had enough. I’m joining the union. Fair treatment, free from being laughed at for all reindeer! You’d think at this time of year, they could be nicer to me, but even earlier on today, I heard Prancer telling Rudolph jokes. He thinks it’s funny but it’s not.
I’m no good at hide and seek. They see me coming and move and I can’t see much further than this ruddy great nose. I’m always it, and it takes me the whole game to find anyone.
The only time I fit in is Comic Relief. Every other time, I’m just Rudolph the freak! And who decided that big red noses were funny anyway — I can tell you from experience — they’re not!
