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I Live With A Monster Inside My Mind

On living with OCD for most of my life

Li
2 min readAug 14, 2021
Photo by Aarón Blanco Tejedor on Unsplash

People think they know what it means to be depressed. What it means to have OCD…

They have no clue.

OCD isn’t about odd obsessions. Or only liking even numbers.

OCD is hell.

STUCK

It’s being stuck in a never ending loop, where if you don’t do something, you have to live with a constant niggling, crippling doubt, and the only way to get rid of it is to do that thing over and over and over again, until it feels ‘just right’.

You hate yourself so much, and the more you have to do it, the more you hate yourself, the more you beat yourself up.

VICIOUS CYCLE

It’s a sickening, vicious circle that you have no chance of breaking.

Is that how people feel when they joke about OCD?? Is it?

They think it’s all just fun and games; that being a ‘little bit ocd’ is joke.

NOT A JOKE

It’s not!

It never has been!

It never will be.

They don’t have a clue what it’s like for me. How long it takes me to do things… To get ready in the morning. To make food. To…

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Li
Li

Written by Li

Level 38|Wales|Writer|Artist|Crafter|Chronic Health Warrior|Fibromyalgia|DID|CPTSD|&

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